Podcast Ep 132 | “How Do I Shift This Feeling…?” – The Mood Method: 4 Steps To Process & Shift Your Challenging Emotions
Episode 132 | "How Do I Shift This Feeling...?" - The Mood Method: 4 Steps To Process & Shift Your Challenging Emotions
Today I am going to give you a little bit of a behind the scenes of one of the lessons that I cover in my Wealthy Wellpreneurs group coaching program and that is covering a little model I like to call ‘The Mood Method.’
This is essentially 4 simple steps that you can use as a guide to work through any difficult thoughts or challenging emotions that come up for you throughout your business building journey and how you can be able to move through those emotions and thoughts faster and more effectively so that they don't hold you back. So that you don't bottle them down into the darkness and they come up at the most random times and you're able to continue moving forward and achieving all of your biggest goals. The reality of entrepreneurship, let's face it, there's always going to be days that don't go to plan and it feels like you're taking a huge step backwards.
Mistakes, setbacks, pivots, risk, and the unknown are all a part of the business building journey, especially when you're paving your own path and doing things in new ways to what others in your industry might be doing. Some people believe that when they have consistent clients and they're hitting their income goals, that everything will be smooth sailing. But let me tell you from experience that there are mistakes and challenges that arise at every level of success. We need to anticipate this and be flexible and adaptable in our approach and we can see challenges in a new light. One of the qualities of stepping into the Wellpreneur mindset is being able to expect the challenges will be a part of the journey, but seeing them as a learning and growth opportunity to be better rather than saying them as a reason to give up or stop.
The Mood Method
I've put together a simple four step framework to be mindful of on the days where things don't go to plan, where perhaps you're feeling like giving up on your business feeling imposter syndrome and like you're just not cut out for this or wondering who the hell is going to listen to me? Who's going to pay me? Who's gonna want to work with me? This is your go-to lesson on the days like that. This model can tie in as an extension of addressing your business survival mode from the last lesson. And it can be used as a way to acknowledge your initial reaction and work towards turning it into a more supportive response by managing your mood.
Here’s an overview of the mood method:
Notice Feel Understand Switch
If I remember it easily NFUS. If you look down the line, N F U S it's kind of reminding me of ‘no fuss’, which is exactly what we want with the mood method. We want to be able to switch out of our current mood with no fuss. Let's break it down.
Notice - like many of the starting points to changing your thoughts, emotions, or behavior, you need to build an awareness of your own reality and begin to notice your reactions or your responses to challenging or unexpected situations. You want to start getting curious with how you're showing up, how you're responding and reacting to good or bad things in your business and life.
Feel - once you begin to notice your behavioral or thought responses, you need to then allow yourself the space to feel into the emotion that presents. This might change depending on the situation, but it could include anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, embarrassment, shame, regret, jealousy, or many other emotions. Allow yourself the space to feel your feelings and name the emotion. Try to avoid distracting yourself or bottling up the emotion during this step. This can be the toughest phase because it's uncomfortable to sit with emotion and many of us try to avoid it like the plague. But I like to visualize my emotions, like a wave, knowing that the emotion is transient and it's going to have a point where it peaks and then it's going to slowly reside over time and be replaced with a new emotion.
Understand - once you've been able to name the emotion and acknowledge its presence, you'll want to understand more about why this emotion has come up for you. Was your business survival-mode triggered? (Another model covered in my program). Did you have an unrealistic expectation that didn't happen? Do you feel let down by somebody getting clear on why is that this emotion has come up is what is going to help you to process it better and move through it rather than just push it down and suppress it. This can be a little bit confronting, but it's helpful for you in the long run. Trust me.
Switch - once you've been able to feel through and better understand the emotional response and the associated thoughts or behavior, you're now in a position to effectively switch your mood. This is where you make use of your more positive and effective coping strategies that you identified in the last lesson. So you can lean on these toolbox or what I call a happy pack to switch your mood and encourage a higher vibration.
I'm going to give you a little bit of an example of how this can look for me just so that it integrates and you can understand the process a little bit better. A common emotional trigger or a situation for me is making a mistake. While I'm far better now at seeing the growth opportunity and mistakes and small mistakes don't really phase me that much anymore, there are still times where I experienced shame around doing something that could have been avoided. In these instances I noticed the trigger, which is my mistake and I feel that pain of emotion come up. I acknowledged the shame and the associated thoughts of ‘I should've known better’ or ‘that was so stupid’ and I work on understanding it better and working out why this particular mistake has impacted me emotionally. Maybe I let someone down, maybe I embarrassed myself in front of people. Maybe I made a costly mistake that led to a loss of profit. I then give myself some quiet time to really process this and journal through it. And once I ride the wave of emotion, I then implement a positive coping strategy to switch my mood. This is often something like playing upbeat music, reflecting on the good things I've achieved, going for a walk with my dog or working on separating my sense of self from the actions that I take. So you want to give yourself the space to feel and understand the emotion and the mood that's coming up, but you don't want to wallow in it. You don't want to get stuck in this mood for days where it just amplifies and holds you back and you get in your own way. You really want to be able to shift out of it and switch your mood and keep moving forward. That's where this model comes in so handy as a reminder.
Let's have a look at your happy pack. Consider what you might like to include in your mental toolkit or happy pack to help you switch into a more positive, supportive mood. So some ideas might be things like exercise, meditation and mindfulness, playing upbeat music, taking a shower or a bath,calling a friend, reflecting on some recent wins that you've had, journaling, watching funny videos, quality time with your family or your children or your pets, or maybe reading a favorite book. So you can map at how you can address common situations that bring up difficult emotions for you. Then you can plan out what activities or supports to include in your happy pack so you can help to switch into a more positive mood when it's needed. Perhaps keep a list on your phone notes or beside your desk for an easy reminder.