Every time a new year rolls around it becomes the perfect time for people to get clear on their intentions and goals for the coming year. It’s an opportunity to start fresh and leave behind the year that was. However, what can often happen is people can make goals that are unrealistic, or in line with societal expectations or other people’s values. Sure enough, these goals fall to the wayside and shame and blame arises around why these goals just can’t seem to be achieved.
Is this a position that you find yourself in each new years day? Perhaps you have decided to lose weight, drink less alcohol or spend more time with a loved one. If your goals are the same ones that you seem to be setting with each new year then it might be time to re-evaluate and reframe these goals and see why they don’t appear to be working.
The first step is to make what I believe to be the only commitment you need for the year, and that is a commitment to you! Make a conscious, loving decision that in 2018 you will commit to yourself and your wellbeing by listening to your intuition, making time for things that you need & enjoy, and healing yourself from the inside out. You are in control of your life and the only one who can achieve all that you desire, and when you become truly aware of this and embrace your power then you are unstoppable. It becomes a mind shift from having the power sit with external people or events to harnessing that power from within.
My goal for 2018 to make more time for myself and to participate in things that cultivate self love, respect and acceptance. This way, my goal is centred around the acknowledgement that I am in control of my life and gives me the flexibility to engage in anything that makes me feel good and helps me to be my best self.
The next step is looking at what you are really trying to achieve with your goal or resolution. There is always an emotion or feeling sitting behind our behavioural goals and when we can identify these emotions then we can empower ourselves to achieve them. For example, if you intend to spend more time with a loved one, ask yourself why spending more time with them is important to you and what emotion you would feel if you were to see them more. Perhaps you would feel increased connection, love and belonging. Once you pinpoint the emotions you are hoping to achieve, you can get clearer on ways to elicit those emotions throughout the year through your actions. If it is connection you seek, could there be a way to connect with your loved one without necessarily spending more time with them? This could include sending a loving text message from work or being more present when you are with them. You may even redefine your resolutions in line with the emotions you seek, such as to build a stronger connection with my loved ones when I am with or without them.
My main driving emotions are love and connection, so I aim to engage in actions or thoughts daily that enhance my love and connection to myself and others. This way, I don’t place pressure on myself to achieve unrealistic or ambiguous goals, but rather do a variety of small or large things each day that link into my values and primary emotions. It could be as small as switching out of a negative thought to spending a night out with my partner.
Let me know what you think the emotions are behind the resolutions you’ve set and how you can get clearer on how to commit to yourself and the emotions you seek in 2018!